A tiny surprise



If you haven't heard, Ethan's going to be a big brother! Don't let the above picture fool you...it was taken March 5th. I'm currently 28 weeks along. We're having a baby - just like last time, we will found out the sex on birth day. Baby-2 is scheduled to make an appearance in the beginning of September.

It wasn't really a secret - we just don't like posting things like this on facebook. Ask me why a blog is different...I really don't know. I guess I see it as those who really want to know what's going on in our lives will take the time to read this. Facebook is great for quick updates from people you are acquainted with. In my own world, this just seems more "personable."

Another reason facebook wasn't used is because I still hadn't told work. It was a 27 week struggle for me. My trip back to Maryland was not only used as face-time in the office, but was used to tender my resignation. Definitely one of the hardest decisions I've had to make to date. My last day will be August 2nd. It's not a forever "good-bye." It's just something that Jon and I feel very strongly about - family first. The plan is to return one day when the kids are in full-time school. For  now, I'm going to try my hand at one of the most important jobs - being a full-time mom.

Being back in real-Marine world, as I call it, the reality of deployments set back in. We've had the luxury of Jon being on his B-billet and attending school for the last 3 years. We were able to grow together and build the foundation for our family without having the interruption of a deployment. We have been truly blessed.

Many people asked why I was quitting since I had it so good with working from home. First off, I'm not quitting. Call it semantics, but the word "quit" has so many negative connotations. My high school senior quote was: "You automatically lose if you quit" (Calvin & Hobbes). This has always stuck with me. Quitting to me means that you haven't tried to exhaust all possible options and avenues to succeed.

I look at my life so far and believe I have succeeded. My career path to management took a u-turn when we moved to South Carolina in 2009 - but I knew my life would change when I married my best friend. My success isn't just that of the professional world, it also includes my personal world. There needs to be a balance. For me, balance and success requires me to be able to give what I know I can give to each and every task I face.

I'm certainly not the only one in this situation, but for me I know I would not be successful if things remained the same. I have always given 110% in everything I do and expect nothing less from  myself. I've often had performance reviews from my managers telling me that I have very high expectations, maybe too high, not only of myself but of others. My response was always the same: I'm not going to change; I will not accept mediocrity; If I don't set the bar high, how will I ever know what I can achieve?

But, if there's one thing I've learned along the 9 years with the same company, there needs to be some sense of realism to my goals. Come September, I will have a full dose of reality that is for sure. A 17 month old, a new baby, a deployment, and stepping into my new role as both mom and dad - add on top of that a very demanding and dynamic job, and I know I would not be able to dedicate my standard 110% to each facet of my life. While the decision on which thing needed to be cut out was easy, the actual convincing myself that it is the right thing to do was quite a different story. I'm still not 110% sure I've convinced myself!

So that's where we are. I'm currently working to ensure a seamless transition not only for the company but also for myself. It'll be a very interesting Monday, August 6th!